Sunday, February 22, 2009

Love and Marriage

I recently had a conversation with a gal, a stranger no less, in a grocery store line. We stood together, waiting to cash out, both of us reading the tabloids. She mumbled something about, "If people paid more attention to how they felt in their heart than between their legs, more marriages might work out."

This gave me pause to think. I stood for a minute, not sure if I should respond, then deciding to take the bait.

"Yeah, I said, every relationship I had when I was younger was all about the sex for everyone but me. I spent so much time trying to please them, that they ended up not liking me."

She looked at me kinda funny, then laughed. "Yeah, I was looking for the guy who could drive me wild. Too bad they all drove me insane."

I nodded, agreeing. As I walked away, I started to think about this. Is mind-boggling sex worth giving up the warmth and comfort of the emotional connection?

In reading, we generally look for the perfect combination of both. We want to feel good, but we also want to feel good! Isn't it possble to have both? And if not, which one is more important?

If we give so much of ourselves to please physically, do we lose the ability to please emotionally?

Does it matter in erotic fiction if there is emotional pleasure, or does that fall into the romance category?

©Karen Syed aka Alexis Hart

Contemporary Romance

Click cover to purchase


Anabel Blue said...

There are definitely those who just want to read about the satisfying sex and really don't care for emotional stuff getting in the way. For me, the sexual escapades of the h/h are enhanced by the romantic elements the author weaves in.

Humans are emotional. That includes men, too, whether they will admit to it or not. While theirs are not exactly the same, emotions can and do play a big part in the erotic play between couples. Er, a couple. You know what I mean.

I like a romantic thread of some kind to run through erotic stories. To read about two people engaging in various sexual acts without emotional involvement is akin to watching animals go at it at the zoo. For me, that is.

In my upcoming short "Sex Libris", the heroine has a plan in mind for the hero, and while nothing happens the way it should that night in the library, the reader nonetheless enjoys Chelsea's surprise and her ultimate pleasure.

And isn't that key? That our characters feel pleasure, satisfaction, and (dare I say?) emotional completion, if only for a moment?


Jo Anne said...

Pleasure for pleasures sake is a man thing, so we are given to believe. Women want sex and they want great sex. I think that if the emotions are engaged then the sex can only be better.
If there are no feelings then you might as well take care of yourself. fiction/nonfiction, it doesn't matter there has to be something that makes a person connect to another. It only makes the sex better. In real life and in our characters.