Friday, May 22, 2009

Toys, Tea, and Female Bonding

It was bitter cold that November night, and honestly, I was hesitant. Toy parties? I was a little skeptical. Not that I didn't love toys…whether single or in a relationship, I'd always found them fun and interesting and a healthy part of one's sexuality. The thing was, I was used to shopping for them alone or with my partner. The idea of being with other people—strangers, no less—for such a party was a little embarrassing. So when I pulled into the driveway of an acquaintance's house and saw a few of my friends already mixing with some ladies I hadn't met yet, I took a deep breath and sat in the car for a minute before heading inside.

Typical of ladies who entertain, there was plenty of wine, tea, and fancy little snacks on dainty china platters. We introduced ourselves and began to get to get to know each other in the dining room before our hostess ushered us into the living room for the presentation. Products were out, displayed in much the same fashion as the merchandise I'd seen displayed at other parties that sold plastic dishes or stone baking pans. But this, my friends, was anything but typical.

We were all nervous at first, I think. And that might have actually helped us get over any bits of shyness, knowing most of us felt the same way. Nervous giggling was about all we heard as our presenter talked for the first ten minutes. Then, products began to get passed around. We got to taste things, try things, and touch all the goodies as they got went around the room. Soon, we'd all loosened up and were like old friends, joking and laughing…because hey, if you can't joke around when you have a vibrator in your hand in a room full of people, then when CAN you joke around?

I think what I'll always remember about the night, besides the one discussion that was deliciously scientific about pheromones, is how it was ok to just be myself there. To feel comfortable not only with the friends I came with but with strangers who were just like me: remarkably average and just a little bit unsure. To know that other folks in my very small town had private lives and were brave enough to celebrate them with a group of like-minded women. Even better, being able to have these kinds of conversations with the friends I went with opened up a course of dialogue that we are still able to continue today. And strengthening friendships, no matter where, is always worth it.

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Anabel Blue said...

Ha! I was nervous just reading about it! Sounds like a fun time, despite the squirminess of the subject matter. I guess it's just like anything else, once you find support with regard to similar interests, you gain confidence.

Well done!


ps - what was your favorite toy/aid? :)

Word Crafter said...

Good Job nicely written on such a sticky subject...the first of these toy parties I went to was co-ed now that took A LOT of moxie but when there are enough who are not shy about the subject you relax eventually - sort of = )